1001 Dates – Idea #2 – Take a Walk

Take a walk. It’s that simple.

Walk around the block. Walk to the corner mart, the grocery store, the library. Walk around your property, walk somewhere. But do it together. With the date-ee (the one to take the date with), of course.

Ask your spouse/S.O./girlfriend/boyfriend to come with you. Catch pokemon. Who cares. If you have kids, take the kids! It can be fun. Look around, see the land around you; notice something that escaped you before – and share it. It’s the sharing that makes it a date … you can take a walk alone, but make it a date on purpose.

Keep calm...

Do it.

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101 Ways to be Attractive – #3: Lose Graciously

I know next to nothing about Andy Griffith, but despite the tongue-in-cheek humor here, there’s something to be learned…

Losing a competition does not mean losing your cool.

In any situation – friendly competition between friends, long-standing local rivals, or the world’s stage of sports – no one likes a sore loser. On the other hand, one may be lauded if a defeat is handled with grace.

There’s lots of reasons to approach defeat or loss in this fashion: it’s an opportunity to learn and grow, professionalism is much more enjoyable than childishness, and tantrums are becoming to no one. Pick a reason, but let’s face it: no one likes a sore loser. Shake hands, chin up, and try again next time. Even consider congratulating the victor(s)!

These choices show maturity, even in the face of non-ideal circumstances. Choosing the mature path in something as simple as a defeat (because let’s face it – it’s likely literally ‘just a game’) will be good training for more difficult scenarios. Someday, swallowing your pride may mean the difference between ruining a relationship and repairing it – between losing a job or keeping it … or even advancing in your field.

As for attractiveness? Well, if sore losers are inherently disliked, then avoiding the disliked is probably a step towards attractiveness. But even more positively: someone able to pick any one of the reasons mentioned above to be a gracious loser has just demonstrated that they have a higher chances of making good choices in a relationship.

And that, my friend, makes you attractive.

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Follow-up to Ways to be Attractive #2 (Listen)

A timely article was on Hacker News: “What Great Listeners Actually Do.”

To summarize – lots of people think they know what makes a great listener … these folks actually collected data to determine the facts. Aside from feeling encouraged that I had mentioned several points then mention in their article, the biggest thing that stuck out to me was the line,

“The best listeners made the conversation a positive experience for the other party…”

A far better way to succinctly describe what I hoped to express in my statement about deference and respect. Check out that article.

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101 Ways to be Attractive – #2: Listen

“Good listener.” Sounds like a positive evaluation for a kindergartner who doesn’t speak much, or a vague description in an online dating profile.

But listening is far more than processing audible impulses. A good listener is occupied with what you are saying, as you are saying it. A good listener can probably make a relevant reply to what you just said. A good listener is actually listening to the content of your sentences – and usually trying to understand.

A good listener is not formatting a rebuttal while you’re still mid-sentence. Good listeners probably won’t cut you off, correct you, or tell you how your sentiment is “close, but not quite right.”


Why would someone consider a good listener attractive? Who doesn’t consider a good listener attractive? Good listeners are attractive because they express kindness, deference and respect through the action of listening.

So if you want to be listening-ly-attractive, consider this: When someone else is speaking, are you listening? … or just getting ready to speak?

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101 Ways to be Attractive – #1: Say Please and Thank You

It’s not very hard to thank someone, but it might seem to be rare occurrence. When was the last time someone added “please” when asking you for something? Or said “Thank You” after receivinga given item? True, this isn’t so hard to do around someone you care for…

… if you want to be really attractive, be polite all the time, to everyone you meet. When was the last time you heard someone tell the employee behind the counter “Thank You” at a fast food joint?


Why is this attractive? If I’m in the habit of treating others politely, it’s likely I’ll continue treating others politely … and a prospective mate can look forward to me treating her politely as well.

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101 Easy Ways to be Attractive

The other day someone asked what they could do to be more “attractive.” It prompted me to think about things that 98% of people find attractive (purely fictitious statistic) … I’m shooting for 101 of these, instead of the 1001 date ideas. Let’s see how it goes…

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Recording calls through Google Hangouts in Audacity, using Soundflower

Unfortunately, people lie. Fortunately, recording a phone call with a lie can get one out of trouble later. It’s an ugly bit of reality, but since reason has arose lately to encourage me to record certain calls, I started looking into my options.

The ideal solution would be one that lets me record outgoing and incoming audio, during a call through google hangouts on my tablet. Since that solution hasn’t presented itself yet, I set about researching audio recording on the computer. The idea started as “Have phone call (send/receive); Give appropriate notification of call recording to involved parties; Have applicable conversation; Store in the event of contention later.” Easier said than done.

Hangouts will let you press 4 to record an inbound call, but only on a handset. So I can do this when Voice forwards to my handset, but not on the tablet. Bummer. I also can’t activate this when receiving a call on the Hangouts web-app. Final bummer: only works for inbound calls.

I’d tried Audacity to solve this challenge before, and had some success “recording” a call. Alas, the “recording” was just a recording through the microphone on the computer, thus “hearing” and “recording” the inbound audio through an “out loud” loop. One of many problems this presented was my talking over the other party whenever I spoke – and potentially losing whatever they had just said. Soundflower to the rescue.

Apparently the developer has moved around a bit, but I believe the idea behind Soundflower is to produce a kernel extension that creates another audio source/output, thereby creating a “middle-man” of sorts for redistributing sound. In my case, because I’m running Mountain Lion (OS X 10.8.5), I used the Google Code repository to source an older release, and installed 1.6.6b. After a restart, Soundflower 2ch and Soundflower 64ch appeared as Audio devices.

Using this StackExchange post as a good visual example of the developer’s instructions, I created a Multi-Output Device (M-OD for short) with Soundflower and Built-in Output as the selected devices. [This will distribute whatever sound enters this M-OD to both Soundflower and Built-in Output.] Next, I created an Aggregate Device (let’s call it the AD) with both the Built-in Microphone and the Soundflower (2ch) devices. [This will make the sound from both the Built-in Microphone and the Soundflower devices available as one input device.] Now, when loading a Google Hangouts session and starting a phone call, the audio input will remain as Built-in Microphone, but the output will change to the Multi-Output Device. Save the hangout settings during a test call, and it’s good to go.

Here’s what’s happening. Everything I say into the microphone goes two places: to the Google Hangouts input, and to the AD. [So the phone call hears me without issue.] The output from Hangouts goes to the M-OD, distributing it to both Soundflower (2ch) and Built-in Output. [I can hear the phone call through the Built-in output without issue.] The magic happens when the output sent from the M-OD goes to the Soundflower (2ch) device, which is also an input for the AD I created – and recall, the AD is receiving audio from the Built-in Microphone simultaneously. Thus, the AD is hearing both sides of the phone conversation (me in the Mic and the Soundflower audio from the M-OD, where hangouts sends its output).

Wrap it all up: Open Audacity and select the AD as the input source. The trickiest part is in the last part of Emu’s comment … Audacity must be set to record all four channels available in the AD. Two channels will be from the microphone, and two will be from the hangout (each source is stereo, so a left and right from each). Press that record button and launch a call from Google Hangouts (don’t forget to select the M-OD as output for the hangouts call).

As an extra bit of goodness, this solution should be “backwards compatible.” (In quotes because it’s more back-out-ness compatible.) If I don’t want to record, all of the sound still goes where it needs to, and there’s nothing broken by not recording. I just don’t tap off that available feed from the AD.

Next I’d like to find an android app that can record both sides of the audio in Hangouts…

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